he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The air was thick with penises
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
