What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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