what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize