I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
