There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
