just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
