Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
