I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize