i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize