Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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