She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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