Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
