that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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