I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize