This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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