JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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