I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
please don't ironically join a cult
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