i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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