Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
