I got chris browned last night
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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