how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
