didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize