I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
