I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
