this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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