We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize