You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize