I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
