seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
