p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
