i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
