My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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