just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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