there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
