I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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