I can text with my tongue
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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