Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
