I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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