we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
