Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Randomize
