i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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