I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
