I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
