Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
