at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize