he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
