It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
