she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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