booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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