How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
