Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
