Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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