At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
