Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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