There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
