See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
