I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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