So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
